 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
 |
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
LoganLo On (or close to) Schedule |
||
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
|
|
|
Friday, February 29, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
One point five Location: Queens, locked outta my office Mood: irritated at myself Music: The more you ignore me, the closer I get  Painting by Constellajen whom I met online Me: Mom, don't cry, my hands always shake. Her: But they're not supposed to... Mom's terribly worried about me these days. I tell her not to be and yet - well, mothers are as they are. When she first came here, my mom tied a 1.5 minute egg timer to the phone. Once a month, she would call her mom and they would talk for exactly 1.5 minutes. No matter what, they got off the phone after 1.5 minutes. It's all they could afford. Her mom worried about her too. She was 26? Can you imagine? Here's the thing: unless you know me in RL, you and I most likely wouldn't be anything back in those days. What a world we live in, where communication is a commodity. Text, email, fax, blogs - we can all connect. Veijukka asked who gives me pep talks, I don't really need them. Because I'm so much in my own head all the time. Sometimes, though, I could use a quiet connection. Thanks for listening this week. It's been rough. I'll see if I can't get slapped again by another girl this weekend to keep y'all entertained. Labels: art, depression, dialogue, family  Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 2 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:25 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Thursday, February 28, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Brick Wall Location: 18:30 yest, hopping onto the seven train Mood: beat tired Music: the only one here now is me; I'm fighting things I cannot see  Me: You can do this. You've done it before, you survived. You can do it again. You just gotta be a brick wall. Her: What does that mean? Me: Two things. First, a brick wall doesn't cry, it doesn't beg, it doesn't plead, it doesn't do anything. It just is. A brick wall does what it's supposed to do - without compunction, without complaint, without contempt. A brick wall's built for pressure; you're built for pressure. Her: And second? Me: Second is it doesn't give anything away - you can read a face, you can't read a brick wall. Keep it together. People're relying on you. You're relying on you. Don't ever let him break you down. A brick wall doesn't break; everything else breaks against it. Her: (quizzically) I'ma brick wall? Me: Yeah, you're a goddamned brick wall. Her: (deep breath) I'm a brick wall. Me: You're stone. Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 0 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:01 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Monday, February 25, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Mike Location: writing this with a glass of rum for Mike Mood: grateful Music: Well, if it rains, I don't care Don't make no difference to me  An older guy, he looked like he was 45. He had a six-pack! Paul and I joked all the time that he looked better than botha us. He was a student in my fencing class; 65 years old and still training hard. I remember that when everything went down with me, so many people said, Well, the only way is up. Which is yet another one of those sayings that only has the air of truth but no real truth to it - dude, there's always more room for down. Always. Mike didn't say that; he said: I'm an old man, I've seen a lotta things. You never know what Life will give you, but good or bad, you take it anyway. We live in a Cliff's Notes society where we know the punchlines, but never the whole saying:
No man is an island, Entire of itself. Each is a piece of the continent, A part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less. As well as if a promontory were. As well as if a manner of thine own Or of thine friend's were. Each man's death diminishes me, For I am involved in mankind. Therefore, send not to know For whom the bell tolls, It tolls for thee. Mike, you bastard, you made a room fulla grown men with pointy sticks and aggression issues cry. We're diminished. I hope when I go, I'm half the man you were. Labels: goodbye, john donne, mike Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 6 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:05 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Friday, February 22, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Music Week Day 4 - Bedtime stories Location: 20:00, locked out of my car and freezing in Queens Mood: sotted Music: they keep getting younger, Don't they baby? no mother ever thinks that her daughter's gonna grow up to sleep alone. I was listening to this song before I fell asleep one night and I had the strangest dream about a man who couldn't sleep and woman who wouldn't speak. I'd like to tell it to you. If I can remember it all, I will. I'll add that to the list of things I've gotta do. I'm sorry for all of those of you that said you could help - I don't think I can do the rum project. No time. There's never enough time these days. Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 2 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:30 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Thursday, February 21, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Music Week Day 3 - Charm attack / -ish Location: 10:30 yest, queuing at the bank Mood: creative Music: Well, I'm no savior But I tried to save you To continue from my last post: Me: OK, I'll meet your friend. Cain: Wait, you know Logan has a strict catch and release policy, right? Her: What does that...oh...Me: Hey! (sighing) Nevermind... Time: 500(ish) Days Dates: 80(ish) Relationships: 5(ish) Shortest: 2 weeks Longest: 4 months (4.5 if you count the recidivism) Dates this week: 2 Batting average: 80:0 I'm 35 in two months. Cain thinks I'm self-sabotaging, my parents think I'm not getting any younger, They all think I'm the guy that's just passing by, but I'm not. I'm killing time. I told you then, I'm waiting. I'm still waiting. ---------- Thanks for all the music so far - post more? Labels: dialogue, single life, video, waiting Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:23 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Tuesday, February 19, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Music Week Day 2 - Not quite yet Location: 15:30 & 19:00 yest, walking about the hood Mood: disappointed Music: you only want what everybody else says you should want If you miss Freddie too, you'll like this kid - he's got pipes. Here's another killer vid from him. ---------- Kemidra posted an interesting question in her blog and supported my parents' theory that I'm attractive (bringing the total number of people that think that to three). I wrote in my very first post that, for almost two decades, I wasn't so much Logan as I was Loganandliz, or what have you - like Samanderic in Lord of the Flies. I was a unit as in: Let's invite Loganandliz - they're a cute couple! It's been 19 months and I gotta say, I like being single. I don't think you can have a good relationship with someone else if you've never fully fleshed out who you are. I mean what do you bring to the table if you're defined by someone else? Having said that, if I did meet the right girl at the right time for both of us, I'd stop being single in a heartbeat. Cause it doesn't matter if you're the disappointer or the diappointee - it's fulla suck either way. But sometimes, that's how it's gotta be. To quote St. Augustine again: da mihi castitatem et continentiam - sed noli modo Give me chastity and continence - but not quite yet. Labels: single life, video Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:02 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Monday, February 18, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Music Week Day 1 - George Location: 14:00 yest., the 66th Street Barnes & Noble Mood: hopeful Music: I don't believe that you, you don't believe in me I went on a blind date with a very cool and attractive, brown-eyed girl today. Me: After all my fish died, I bought a bunch more and named them all George. Her: (quizzical look) Me: (nodding slowly) They're pretty upset over the whole matter, too.Her: (laughs) You should get a goldfish and call him Token because he'll be the token goldfish. Me: Well now, that's just silly. Also met a bevy of lovely Christian girls at a party on Friday. Weird thing is that when I found out they were Christian, I slipped into anywhere but church mode. It's a mental block. ---------- I wanna share my current favorite songs this week. If you blog, will you post songs and videos this week? If you don't, post music in the comments? Introduce me to music you love. It'll make these days go by faster. I'd like them to go by faster. Labels: dialogue, george, random meetings, single life, video Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:17 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Friday, February 15, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Crackers Location: alone in 14020 Mood: so tired Music: I am damaged at best Like you've already figured out  Him: You're on the guest list. It's an anti-Valentine's Day party at the Chinatown Brasserie. Everyone there's single plus it's catered with an open bar. Me: (sigh) I'm in not in town. Last minute gig came up. I'm out, first thing in the morning. ---------- It's snowing when I exit the pad for the Rainbow Room. I'm wearing my black tux with a black tee-shirt and pretty much arrive drenched. Sheridan and I run into our buddy RE Mike, who's still cuttin' deals at the party. James Lipton, Richard Kind, David Zaikin, Tina Fey and Alec Baldwin are there - all're pretty nice folk. The food's killer and some chick from American Idol belts out soul. I also meet this woman who says she fixes people up like Phoebe Cates and Kevin Kline. Her: You're cute! I want to introduce you to my step-daughter. She's beautiful and just graduated from Cornell. She's Jewish though. Me: Well, that I don't have a problem with but...how old is she? Her: 22.Midway through the party, I lose Syd's lens cap so I spend a good hour looking for it. Giving up, I hang out with the girl from Wednesday's post. I'm heading out when a waiter says, I saw you looking on the ground. Were you looking for this? He pulls out Syd's cap. I break out into a smile, shake his hand, and take a pic of him. All-in-all, onea my better Tuesdays. This week, Sheridan's at the Brasserie, Paul's in China, Gio's in Columbia. Me? I'm the only person beside the nightwatch in a frozen, upstate hotel. Dinner's a protein bar and some rum. Some days, you get scantily clad dancers, Ford models, and Beluga caviar on a cracker. Some days, you just get the cracker. Labels: grey, New York City, nightlife, NYC, single life, traveling Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 0 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:05 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Wednesday, February 13, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Weekday win Location: read below Mood: so entertained Music: everything you want, Honey, we know the names  We both know my life is full of suck. But lately I've been getting some win. Weekday win is the best. ---------- Friday night, Paul and I meet a pretty brown-eyed girl who says she's Asian but doesn't look anything 'cept Irish and offers to buy us a drink. We also meet a group of 22 year olds (course) who ask if I talk to God. I do. Saturday, I'm on the wrong side of 10PM when I get dressed. No plans but I live in NYC, dammit. There's always something, right? Who wants in? I'm game, Gio says, and we're off. We bump into Burn, who says she's happy to see me. I tell her I missed her and don't lie. She says the same and kisses my cheek. Sunday, the cobwebs fade a bit when Sheridan and I grab brunch round the way. He's buying another building in Chelsea and asks if I want a piece. I laugh and fill him in. Him: Private party Tuesday in the Rainbow Room. Beautiful women, open bar, Tina Fey, Alec Baldwin and a bunch of celebs're gonna be there. You want in? Me: Are you not listening to me? Him: (rolling eyes) Please, you're always my guest. Meet me at 30 Rock at 7. It's a black & white party. Look good.I tell him I always look good and he laughs. We go and have the best time. I walk up to a girl and say, My friend's occupied and so's yours, let's keep each other company and make 'em jealous, yeah? She laughs and I take her by the hand. Her: I love Asian men. She's beautiful and, it turns out, married. But we all know my head's not in the game. I tell her she's a good dancer and that it was nice meeting her. She was. It was. I also give her a hug and tell her my name. Then I'm gone.Me: I don't blame you, we're lovely. Her: What's your name?Me: Not so fast, let's see if you can dance first. Cm'on...  Just got in - I'll tell you the rest tomorrow, maybe, yeah? Labels: alec baldwin, gio, New York City, nightlife, NYC, random meetings, sheridan, single life, tina fey Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 0 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 1:10 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Monday, February 11, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Speaking of so quick to come and go Location: 21:00, leaving church because Mood: confused Music: baby, i got kid gloves, baby, i got heart I was a foot away from them in one of their last concerts. Shame they broke up, they were awesome. Speaking of awesome, met someone in church recently but, as I said before, anywhere but church. Speaking of anywhere, had another random weekend but I suppose that's for another time. Speaking of time, this'll be my first St. Val's solo since I was 16. Speaking of St. Val's...                   ? Labels: church, hope, luscious jackson, single life Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 2 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:12 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Friday, February 08, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Safe Location: in my apartment, cleaning Mood: cloudy Music: oh, how I need Someone to watch over me  Over Xmas, I wasn't sleeping causa the work drama. But my brother came to visit. I remember laying down on the floor where he was working and passing out. It was the first poison-free sleep I had in two months. I suppose you're all sick and tired hearing about Heath Ledger. I liked his films, but that's about it. He mighta been a prince or a scumbag, I dunno. But I had myself a little freakout when I read about how he died. Cause he's the same type of insomniac as me; his mind was "always racing," he said and "pills failed to work." That's me. Good god, it's wretched misery. There's this line that goes, Everyone dies alone. But that's just horses___. Most people don't die alone. But what a way to go if you do. Poor bastard. Sorry, I'm sick and moody. On a happy note, it was Chinese New Year yesterday (xin nian quai le!). I took the day off, saw the family and ate my weight in dumplings. On an even happier note, it's the weekend.  Labels: depression, heath ledger, insomnia Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 0 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:09 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Tuesday, February 05, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Time with Chantal Location: 19:45 yest, picking up my car at Bill's Auto Mood: flattered Music: why did you leave me here alone? Wait... This is a bootleg. The official video's first four seconds are of a building that I'm at almost every other day. ---------- Her: Actually, I like reading you. Me: Really? Anything in particular? Her: This and that. Actually you've introduced me to a bunch of musicians I've never heard before. Me: (pause) Well, that's just about the nicest thing someone's said to me in a long time. I spent the day working and daydreaming of a girl who exists, but probably doesn't remember that I do. It's ok, because the version of her that I daydream about only exists in my head. I'm sure that doesn't make much sense to you, but it does to me. Labels: Chantal Kreviazuk, dialogue, single life Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 1 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:41 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Monday, February 04, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
None of your business Location: 5:30 yest, going to bed Mood: sick again Music: Love me or hate me, it's still an obsession.  With nods to Jaerik and my friend who cares way too much. I figure at least 20 people hate me in this world. One of them is this old hippie that yelled at me in Cooper Union while stumbling home for having my feet up on a public seat. My feet, I said, with a wink and a smile, are probably cleaner than most people's butts. Ass___, she said. To which I shrugged and said, That's merely your opinion. And why should your opinion matter to me? You didn't even say hello. Considering that there are 6,641,114,623 people in the world, the fact that 20 hate me, that's pretty good. In fact, I don't have a calculator that can compute such a tiny figure. Try it. Whatever someone thinks of me is just their opinion. Someone's else's opinion should not control your life - it's a sucker's bet. Frankly, it's none of my business what people think of me. It's none of your business either. On a grand scale, wars are fought over opinions. People fly planes into buildings because they have an opinion. Men become stalkers because they have an opinion. Little girls commit suicide because of people's opinions. On a more personal scale, you'll drive yourself starkers caring what people think of you. I wasted my youth and my 20s tilting at those windmills. In this world, you can only ever change things about yourself. The rest is just heartache or paper cuts. In other news, I'm sick again. I'm always getting sick. Dammit. Labels: choices, discussion, sick Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 2 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:02 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
|
Friday, February 01, 2008 | |
|
||
|
||
|
Meet Syd Location: 9:40 yest, the Midtown Tunnel Mood: possibly sick again Music: no sympathy come around and I'm in between the layers  ---------- Roomie: Her: That's cheating. Me: I don't say I'm gay, they just ask and I politely decline to answer. Besides, how's it cheating? Her: It's dishonest! You're not gay and you should tell them right away.Me: (rolling eyes) Please. Men don't wear three-inch heels, makeup, or anything that starts with the words "push up." What you see is what you get. I assure you, there's been more than one time when I don't even recognize the girl the next time around. Her: (ignoring comment) So how to they find out you're not?Me: (laughing) That's a whole different conversation. Friend: Me: I have no idea why I keep meeting chicks that are so young. Her: I think it's how you dress. Me: (puzzled) How I dress? How should I dress?Her: Have you ever thought about shopping at the Gap? Me: (pause) No. Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 2 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:23 AM :: |
|
|
||
|
||
|
||
| Don't you have better things to do than read ridiculous small print from some writer? Oh yeah, © 2006 Logan Lo, LLC. All rights reserved. |
