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LoganLo On (or close to) Schedule |
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Monday, September 29, 2008 | |
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Accepting it Location: 20:30 yest, walking home alone Mood: thoughtful Music: People stop and stare. They don't bother me  Grey: I'm back in town next month. Do you miss me yet? Me: Of course. But about that... ---- Me: I wanted to tell you that I had that talk with the other girl and we decided to give it a try. Blue: OK, thanks for letting me know. (pause) I'm surprisingly OK. Me: I knew you would be. ---- Me: So I'm not going to be seeing anyone else, right? Green: (irritated) Why do you always put it like that: "I'm not going to be seeing anyone else." You're fine if I see other people? Me: (laughing) OK, you're right. We're not going to be seeing anyone else, right? We're actually dating each other and no one else. Her: (pause) Yes. We're not going to be seeing anyone else. Me: OK, Heartgirl. I can do that. Her: You've finally accepted that I'm your SING, huh? Me: (nodding) Yes. ---- Me: I can't do you that favour, brother. Him: Fine, be an idiot. By the way, stop calling me the Devil. Me: Ah, you found the blog. Sorry about that. But you know why we call you that. YASYCTAI: Read about Stanislav Petrov and thank him for doing the difficult but right thing. It's hard doing the difficult but right thing. (3 mins/1 pt) Labels: choices, dialogue, single life  Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 0 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:02 AM :: |
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Friday, September 26, 2008 | |
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Grow up already Location: 6:00, awake at my desk, looking at phone Mood: thoughtful Music: it’s turning me to the count of girl who’d rather be alone.  The Devil always seems to come at just the right time with a wink and smile, doesn't he? Him: (sitting) Logan, I need a favour. (hands me an envelope) Me: I hate it when people open with that. Especially you. (opens envelope) Oh this can't be good... ----------Finally saw WALL-E last night. So cute. Her: I wish we could just keep doing what we do. Me: (thinking) You know how most guys wanna keep being a kid? I'm tired of being a kid, I wanna grow up already. I think maybe it's time I grew up already. Her: I like you though... Me: (shaking head) That's only cause I only show you the sides I want you to see. My life is needlessly complicated. I'm hoping to simplify things shortly.The forecast says rain all weekend. YASYCTAI: Simplify your life. Buy a scanner and a shredder and get to work. (120 mins/2 pts) Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 2 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 7:48 AM :: |
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Wednesday, September 24, 2008 | |
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Jbell and something completely different Location: 2:10, spit please Mood: puzzled Music: I am likely to miss the main event If I stop  Woke up at an ungodly hour to drive all over the city. Still didn't finish what I had to finish. Also went to the dentist today for the first time in four years. Two dentists in 11 years - no cavities. Her: I am curious as to why two of your teeth on your left side are cracked. Me: Mstpoplererihndedsowen... Her: I'm sorry, what? Me: (taking tube outta mouth) Most people are right handed. So when I get punched in the face, I get banged up on my left side. Her: Does that happen often? Me: More than y'might imagine. Got into a very perplexing conversation with Heartgirl today so I'm distracted yet again. It's onea those things that I need to figure out myself before I write about it. Breaking with tradition for the second time, HEI has a blog. So readers, please meet: JBell. She came by for dinner the other night to borrow Syd. We chatted over some rum. It's nice when people stick around your Venn Diagrams no matter how screwy y'are. You can read her take on me if you can figure out which one's me. On that note, someone's wondered if I'm nicer in this blog than I am in real life, so in addition to Jbell, the girlie from Sunday said she'd write her view of what happened in my last entry - she said she wrote it in my style (yes, she knows about this blog, no I didn't meet her from it). I never considered that I have a style, but I digress: Me (the girlie): Are you alright? Him (Logan): I'm always alright. He did his fake smile with all the teeth, but the saddest eyes I've ever seen. He's not always alright. And then the thing happened with George. I didn't scream because screams are not words. Him: (on phone) Pick him up! Put him back in! Me: You pick him up! I don't want to touch him! Pick him up! Him: (scooping up George in a paper towel) He's dead! Do you think he's dead?! I think he's dead! Me: Put him back in! Put him back in anyway! Then George swam, in a perfect zigzag, to the bottom of the tank. He must have been caught in a current because that was it -- he was just there, on his side on the rocks. But we didn't take him out. The empty tank would be too sad. Logan says there's one more George in there, he just hasn't seen him for a while. I'm not so sure. So we left this George in, just in case. Logan told me some sad stories, but they're his to tell. I have my own. The sleeping pills he takes scare me. But so do his sad eyes. He looks like a little boy. His shirt's too big, and his hair's sticking up all over. He's not the womanizer he pretends to be. He's a lightweight when it comes to his rum. He deserves to be happy. And suicidal George's swimming around like a miracle fish. He's a little banged up on one side, but I think he's ok for now. YASYCTAI (hers): Convince Logan that covering the fish tank is worth losing the automatic feeder. YASYCTAI: Get your teeth cleaned. I wanna make out with someone if only cause my teeth feel amazing. (60 mins/2 pts) Labels: choices, dialogue, discussion, george Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 0 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:02 AM :: |
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Sunday, September 21, 2008 | |
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I'm always alright / Rules Location: home Mood: awake Music: Don't wanna leave you but I can't stay anymore.  Me: Is it that you don't want a relationship or you don't want a relationship with me? Her: (pause) Couldn't take another failed relationship, Logan. I can't. (looking at me) Are you alright? My fishes keep committing suicide. They jump outta the tank and flop around my floor. They did it tonight when someone was over and she screamed. Dammit, I'm down to one George. Met up with some blue eyes on Friday to a downtown rooftop where I took a picture of the pier above. Met up with some green eyes on Saturday where I went to the pier above and took the picture below of the rooftop I was on Friday. My life goes in these funny circles. PCD made me laugh recently. She kept her promise to stick around. Heartgirl told me that we're not dating cause we're beyond that. So I told her she should wind up and swing. She said she couldn't. Said I understood - but only cause I didn't wanna know. Trust me when I tell you, y'never wanna know why. Have a secret I'll tell you someday. But not now. For now, I repeat that my life goes in circles. Said it before, y'keep doing what you do, y'keep getting what you get. Keep getting what I get cause I keep breaking my rules. Y'know why you have rules? Y'have rules so you don't have to think. The decision was made a long time ago when someone, hopefully you, were thinking clearly. I'm always tired - never think clearly anymore. I just keep screwing things up cause I keep breaking my rules. The girl that screamed went to church with me tonight and walked me home. Just before George jumped outta the tank, she also asked me if I was alright. So I turned to her and put on my best face. Me: I'm always alright. Sometimes if you put something into the aether, it becomes true and it's a good thing. I am alright. Just gotta follow my rules. I'm always alright. George on the other hand...  Labels: dialogue, disappointed, george Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 7:01 AM :: |
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Friday, September 19, 2008 | |
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Killing time on a rainy night Location: about to step out Mood: determined Music: I just don't belong here  Her: It bothers me when you tell me that I'm just killing time with you. I consider you a pretty close friend so I definitely don't think of it as killing time in any sort of way. Me: Romeo and Juliet, Act 2, Scene 2, Lines 1-2, I believe... Her: What's the line? Me: What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet. In the above quote, Juliet tells Romeo that Capulet is just a name, just a word. She loves a man named Montague but the name is irrelevant to her. He could just as well be named Smith or McCarthy for all she cares. Doesn't change who he is. Courtesy is all about the polite lie. You don't really think God will bless someone just because they sneeze, do you? Or that if you say Good Morning to someone, they'll actually have a good morning? The girl in the above conversation's too polite to tell me that I'm her placeholder; her stopgap measure. I'm the guy she kills time with until she meets Mr. Right. Not ideal but I'm not one to cry into my porridge. Sides, anything's better than the lukewarm. So I smile, nod and say, Sure - look there're worse people to spend a rainy night with than each other. And she nods and says, OK. So you take a breath breath. Stuff alla that doubt into that little pocket you keep for just such a night. Get dressed cause you never turn down an invitation. And try to keep that doubt at bay. Don't think of green eyes or blues eyes. Cause you're a brick wall. Y'gotta be. And everything, for better or for worse, makes sense again. Shut the door behind you. Breathe in that fall night air and think: Hello weekend - who's our lucky contestant tonight? YASYCTAI: Memorize a line from Shakespeare. Someday, I'll give you somea my faves. (8 mins/1 pt) Labels: dialogue, nightlife, single life Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 2 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:16 AM :: |
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Monday, September 15, 2008 | |
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My life in print Location: early yest morning, by the pier thinking of not going Mood: wishing Music: give us the greens of summers  Her: You're good to me. Me: I like seeing you happy. Y'remember that client that I told you I just got, King Happy Shrimp Rice, Ltd? Just picked up a national magazine on the newsstand this week and was shocked to learn that it was named one of the best Chinese restaurants in the NY. Damn. I knew I shoulda charged more. (Yes, I changed the name slightly - I'm not insane). Speaking of which, my ex and two of the other men she was seeing at that time are all journalists so I had the misfortune of running into them all regularly as I read my morning paper. The married dude was in the same paper. Of course. As a weird coda t'all this, got an email today from an ISP telling me that the URL I reserved for when she and I got married expired. Eh, I'm ok with it. Damn, I get a lotta junk mail. Saw Heartgirl for dinner the other night. We ordered delivery and saw a flick - hooked up my computer to her plasma TV. She didn't understand why I didn't just bring a DVD till I explained to her that all my DVDs were converted to computer files. She was ill-prepared for my level of nerd. It was actually so much fun that, if I didn't know better, I'd say we were on a date. But she says we weren't so who am I to argue? I'm seeing her again this week for another non-date, date. Can't explain it cause I don't understand it myself. Today, woke up early but got to where I needed to be late cause a charming girlie by the pier was distracting me. Of course. Got two new fencing students for some private tutoring so I rushed home to get stabbed and punched. Repeatedly. More things happened but nuthin that'd interest you. Her: ...and that's how my four-year old cousin learned the word, Zamboni. The End. Me: (laughing) You always end your stories with "The End." Her: Well, that's how you know the story's over, Logan. Me: (nodding) Of course. The End  YASYCTAI: Learn that irrespective (of) and regardless are words; irregardless is not. (0 mins/0 pts - cm'on, you should know this already) Subscribe! |
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If only for a while Location: my parent's guest room Mood: hard to say Music: for a minute it lets me let it all go.  \ Her: (exasperated) LOGAN! When I tell you to go out to go out and check on my friend, I don't mean make a pass at her! Me: In my defense: (a) you weren't totally clear on that point, (b) you know what I am. Busy weekend. New roomie moved in. Work drama My brother came to see me too; we hung out with PB, WM and Kathy for a fashion designer's party. Met a blondie that went to the same grade school as me and lives around the way. I asked her to tell me a secret and she told me a sad one.Sunday, spoke to HEI and told her that, while I didn't lose anyone very close to me in 9/11, can't leave it behind me. And I wanna. Also spoke to Heartgirl, who said she saw a lotta street beef over the weekend. In the backa my head, thought, I can understand, a little, why there's so much rage. Speaking of Heartgirl, a conversation with her not that long ago sparked another one with someone else from my past. Me: I was thinking maybe...maybe you were right. Her: It's nice. (faint laughter) You should try it some time... Me: (pause) I'm trying. I'm trying so hard... Her: (sadly) I didn't mean... Me: You did. (pause) It's ok. I earned it. It's only right. It's only fair.You get what you give in this life. But I hope you're wrong. Maybe you're right but I hope... Her: (interrupting) I hope I'm wrong too. We all deserve to be happy. If only for a while. YASYCTAI: Drink more tea. It's like drinking weak vegetable soup. (3 mins/1 pt)Labels: single life Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 2 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 8:23 AM :: |
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Thursday, September 11, 2008 | |
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Any fool Location: in my thoughts Mood: so very sad Music: A long, long time ago. I can still remember Got a call from Rain earlier to get together today. Made me think. What I wrote last year still rings true. Y’know, there was a TKTS booth in the World Trade Center. Was 17 when I first went there to pick up tix for me and my girlie. Les Mis. There was an escalator going up to the booths and the lines would sometimes snake around the floor as people waited for their tickets. Had a red Aiwa cassette tape player to keep me company while I waited. Two tapes and a cassette player – way before Ipods, kiddies. The people in those buildings were ordinary people like you and me. It’s why when Chrissie Hynde said, We (expletive) deserve to get bombed. Bring it on, I hope the Muslims win, I got sick. Cause, it could easily have been me. Or even her. Or some 17 year-old kid buying a ticket for his girlie. Someone coulda called me, or my brother, or my kid sister, and said, Hey, let’s get together downtown. That’s exactly what happened to my buddy Bryson. Luckily, he always runs late. My high school classmate wasn’t so lucky. Those sons of motherless bitches murdered him a few weeks before his wedding. Disintegrated rather. Nuthin's left of him. Nuthin. Poof. I hope they lose. Cause otherwise, fools like Chrissie can't speak her mind. Even fools like her deserve the right to speak our minds, no matter how stupid. No matter how obscene. Cause obscenities are fought with words not 747s filled with people - even if they're just simple words from a clown. Or a heartbroken 30-something C+ class womanizer. Goddamn. They punched a hole in my pretty city. They punched a hole in my home that's still there. YASYCTAI: Watch the video above (9 mins/1 pt) Labels: 9/11, Chrissie Hynde, grey, September 11th Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 1 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 9:11 AM :: |
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Wednesday, September 10, 2008 | |
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whoo-hoo? / YASYCTAI Location: 19:29 yest, wondering why I'm not home Mood: so freak'n tired Music: Oh, yeah. It`s business time. It`s business time.  I'll be in LA in December or January helping a relative settle in. Him: I left my job. Moving out to Cali. Me: ! Him: ? Me: whoo-hoo? Him: Whoo-hoo! Me: WHOOO-HOOO!!!! Come to the conclusion that I need at least 84% more Whoo-Hoo! in my life. Got outta work at 19:30 today. No joy. Have a new client called King Happy Shrimp Rice, Ltd. Really. Just came in from fencing. Think I tore my ACL. Also, no joy. That aside, I've been averaging about 18% Whoo-Hoo!, M-Thr, about 60% on Fridays, 90% on Saturdays and 60% on Sundays. And even my Saturday Whoo-Hoo! is never consistent. Well, it is - just never in a good way: Me: 22. Her: (surprised) That's right. How did you know? Me: Call it a gift. (thinking) Luckily for you, tonight I don't care. My name's Logan, and you are...?  *YASYCTAI: Donate those clothes y'said you would. Reward yourself with a nice beverage. (90 mins/2 pts) * Your Assignment, Should You Choose To Accept It Labels: dialogue, single life Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 2 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:02 AM :: |
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Monday, September 08, 2008 | |
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Our trespasses Location: 16:20 yest, eating burger #2 in Brooklyn Mood: beat Music: I know enough to know when someone trusts you  In any relationship, there's always the time when you're faced with two competing, equally valid, points of view.
When we finally spoke, I was livid. But here's the thing: after all was said and done, she pointed out one time that I showed piss-poor behaviour. And she said she forgave me. Y'know, every night, every single one, I ask to be forgiven our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us. These can't be empty words. Cause, I gotta believe you're more than just your thoughtless screw-ups. Cause, I gotta believe that I'm more than my awful things. ---------- Saturday, in the midst of a hurricane, see LisaV and her friends downtown at onea my favorite joints, a hidden bar called East Side Company. No signs, no lines. Just the number 49, baby. Meet her friend, a tall, hella attractive Asian girl and ask for her info - but it's not for me; she's exactly my buddy's type. Sometimes, you take one for the team, yeah? Sunday, meet up with Heartgirl for a last minute thing. Stop by her place and help her bake cookies and discuss Scrabble. We had The Talk but it was nuthin I didn't already know. Put our shades on and we're off to a BBQ in Brooklyn where we hung out with her friends. Nice group but more on that some other time. Get home Sunday night with a belly fulla charred meat, fatty carbs and beer. Nice but in my head I think, Man, summer's really not my season. But fall, man...fall's my season. Cannot wait to see my fall blue sky again. Labels: blue sky, dating, discussion Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:01 AM :: |
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Friday, September 05, 2008 | |
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Aether Apologies Location: the basement of my brain again Mood: pensive Music: sometimes a man must awake to find that really, he has no-one  Her: Why do you always get so mad when I apologize? Me: Cause you should only ever apologize for what you do, not who you are. You should never apologize for being what you are. People used to believe in this thing called aether, which was an unseen gas that was supposed to envelop everything in the universe. No such thing but the literary concept of it still exists. Heartgirl went on a date not that long ago and said the guy immediately apologized for being Indian. That irritated me so much. I'm acutely aware of people apologizing for who they are. And when you put that out into the world, into the aether, it's hard to kill it. The moment you let out a breath of, I'm not good enough because of what I am, or I'm so XXXX, it's so very dangerous. Cause you can never be tall enough, thin enough, smart enough. And you are what you believe you are. It's subtle isn't it? The idea that you're not worthy of your three feet of space in this world. Here's the thing, you gotta be. If you're not, the world'll roll right over you. Then again... Her: I thought you said you weren't broken. Me: Maybe I'm just bruised. Her: That makes me sad. Me: Don't be. It's why I have the rum. PCD's...gone from this blog, per her request. But she said we'd stay in each other's Venn Diagrams. I hope that's true. Cause I could never tell if her eyes were grey or blue and would like to know. I hear Caligirl's laughter my head - wondering for a second if she's right and I'm all just hot breath and lies. I gotta believe I'm not. Gotta. Otherwise, I know the world'll roll right over me. So I gotta believe I'm not. I just gotta. Labels: dialogue, discussion, goodbye, venn diagrams Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:02 AM :: |
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Wednesday, September 03, 2008 | |
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Cursing buildings and mountains Location: my childhood bed Mood: beat tired Music: You've been good to me; have i been good to you?  Her: I think everyone has a person. (later) Would it matter? If I ate a shrimp or tried some fishy sushi? I don't think it would. Me: No - because you are who you are and I don't want you to change because of me. Her: I guess I really know that you aren't my person. Sometimes I forget, though. Me: (pause) I hope you find your person. You deserve to find your person. Her: I hope you find yours too. Me: (thinking) You're a good person. Her: I didn't do anything good. Me: (long pause) You wished me well. That's something good. In addition to that very, very sad conversation, also lost my biggest client today, my computer died and either broke my leg or tore my ACL. Crashed at the 'rents and ConEd was doing repairs so I took a cold shower. The moment I was done, got a knock on my door. Him: Hey just wanted to tell you that the gas is back on. Me: (dripping wet) Of course it is. Not a good day. But there's this old saying that it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness. Ended my night with a nice conversation that I'll keep to myself but made things seem a little less dark. Got no candle for you but if you click the music link above, you can get a free download of the song I'm listening to as I write this. Hope y'had a better day than I had. Labels: dating, dialogue, disappointed, pescatarians Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 1 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:03 AM :: |
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Monday, September 01, 2008 | |
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Public Service Announcement Location: 15:00 yest, Port Liberte, NJ Mood: accomplished Music: Oh academia you can't pick me up  Had quite the weekend involving PCD, WM, a pool in Jersey City and copious amounts of charred meat and meat products. But enough about me, let's chat about you. Realized that I've got a lota younger readers - which isn't too hard as I'm ancient. School's about to start so, thought I'd let you know about how I did college. Graduated cum laude from an Ivy League; this is not to brag but to let you know that what I'm about to tell you worked for me and might for you:
Added bonuses
Me: Didyknow that the acceleration of a free falling object under the influence of gravity is 9.8 meters per second, per second? Her: I'm sorry what? Me: Ah, nuthin, just geeking out. But enough about me, let's chat about you....my name's Logan. And you are? Labels: dialogue, discussion, Labor Day Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 9:19 AM :: |
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| Don't you have better things to do than read ridiculous small print from some writer? Oh yeah, © 2006 Logan Lo, LLC. All rights reserved. |
