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LoganLo On (or close to) Schedule |
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Wednesday, October 29, 2008 | |
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Done, done Location: 19:00, unlocking a door in Queens Mood: thoughtful Music: No one ever said it would be so hard  Me: I've always been honest to you. Her: I know it and I hate it. (pause) I'm just jealous because boys always pick me. Me: (laughing) Her: It's true! Me: I know it. I know it. While we never see each other, PCD and I still chat online. We spoke the other night cause I was too tired to type. She's thinking of starting a blog too, told her she should. Her: You're not right for me, I know that. Me: That's the thing about her. I think I'm right for her and she's right for me. We're appropriate for each other. Her: I'd hate that - to appropriate for someone else. Me: It's not a bad thing. It's hard for a boy like me to just stop, y'get used to the random nights. You know that better than most people - that it's hard to stop and say, I pick you. To be done, y'know? Her: Are you done, done? Me: I hope so. (pause) I really like her. Her: (thinking) Good then. I want you to be happy. If there's one common trait to the people I'm actually close to, it's that they're all really good people. My dad says that if you find good people in the world, you should keep them around at all costs. He's a smart man, my dad. This post continued here. YASYCTAI: Figure out which one of your friends are worth the effort and drop them a line. (hours/2 pts) Labels: Coldplay, dating, dialogue, discussion, venn diagrams  Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:09 AM :: |
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Wednesday, October 08, 2008 | |
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This time Location: wide-awake in my pad Mood: nostalgic Music: I wish I knew the time that I've taken I pray is not wasted  Saw Gio tonight off Times Square. It was a networking thingy and they had some good rum. Probably not a good idea since I went fencing afterward. The weird thing is that it was across the street from my old pad. Hadn't been there in a while. Ayn Rand wrote of NYC in The Fountainhead: I would give the greatest sunset in the world for one sight of New York's skyline....When I see the city from my window - no, I don't feel how small I am - but I feel that if a war came to threaten this, I would throw myself into space, over the city, and protect these buildings with my body. Y'know when you love someone, you'd end anyone that'd do them harm? It's like that.Wish I could put it in my pocket and pull it out to show you Nino's where I had the best Penne with Vodka Sauce, or the Algonquin Hotel where I'd wish I had dough or the chops to sit at the Vicious Circle, or my corner on 46th and 6th Avenue, where I'd sneak a cigarette at 3AM when I couldn't sleep and wait for the sun to come up. Or my office at 1500 Broadway where I'd look out and see TRL being recorded with those freakin kids screaming. OK, that I got a picture of. Feel so damn nostalgic. Wanted to talk to Heartgirl about it but she was busy. S'ok, I'm hoping we have plenty of time to talk about these kinda things. Speaking of Heartgirl, she doesn't wanna show up here. So I won't write of her anymore. Maybe she'll change her mind but don't think so. Cause she thinks that this is a blog about me being a womanizer - but that's just the marketing message. Me: It's not. (pause) The truth is, it's the story of a boy like me looking for a girlie like you. (thinking) And hoping, I mean really, really hoping, that this time, it'll be different. YASYCTAI: Post a picture of your neighborhood for me (5 mins/1 pt) Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 1 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 1:16 AM :: |
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Monday, October 06, 2008 | |
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Can you hold this for me? Location: my black chair in my pad Mood: awake Music: I know I've got to let it go and just enjoy the show  Told you before that I've done some awful things in my life. Most I can't talk about. But one thing I'm deeply ashamed of is the number of times someone gave me their heart and essentially said, Here, can you hold this for me? And take carea it, willya? And I nod and immediately turn around, stomp the crap outta it and hand it back a wreck. It's a jerk thing to do. And I did it way too often in my 20s. Course, someone did it to me two years ago and nuthin realigns your thinking faster than eating the stuff you make someone else eat, yeah? That's why I keep thinking of Caligirl and if she's right. What if I really do screw everything up so I don't have to go through it again? Sir Edumond Hilary once said that, It is not the mountain we conquer but ourselves. It's not easy, trying to be a better than you once were. YASYCTAI: Get your shoes shined. They'll last longer and you'll look better. Hurry, before it's winter. (10 mins/1 pt) Labels: dating, discussion, quote Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 1:02 AM :: |
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Monday, September 15, 2008 | |
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My life in print Location: early yest morning, by the pier thinking of not going Mood: wishing Music: give us the greens of summers  Her: You're good to me. Me: I like seeing you happy. Y'remember that client that I told you I just got, King Happy Shrimp Rice, Ltd? Just picked up a national magazine on the newsstand this week and was shocked to learn that it was named one of the best Chinese restaurants in the NY. Damn. I knew I shoulda charged more. (Yes, I changed the name slightly - I'm not insane). Speaking of which, my ex and two of the other men she was seeing at that time are all journalists so I had the misfortune of running into them all regularly as I read my morning paper. The married dude was in the same paper. Of course. As a weird coda t'all this, got an email today from an ISP telling me that the URL I reserved for when she and I got married expired. Eh, I'm ok with it. Damn, I get a lotta junk mail. Saw Heartgirl for dinner the other night. We ordered delivery and saw a flick - hooked up my computer to her plasma TV. She didn't understand why I didn't just bring a DVD till I explained to her that all my DVDs were converted to computer files. She was ill-prepared for my level of nerd. It was actually so much fun that, if I didn't know better, I'd say we were on a date. But she says we weren't so who am I to argue? I'm seeing her again this week for another non-date, date. Can't explain it cause I don't understand it myself. Today, woke up early but got to where I needed to be late cause a charming girlie by the pier was distracting me. Of course. Got two new fencing students for some private tutoring so I rushed home to get stabbed and punched. Repeatedly. More things happened but nuthin that'd interest you. Her: ...and that's how my four-year old cousin learned the word, Zamboni. The End. Me: (laughing) You always end your stories with "The End." Her: Well, that's how you know the story's over, Logan. Me: (nodding) Of course. The End  YASYCTAI: Learn that irrespective (of) and regardless are words; irregardless is not. (0 mins/0 pts - cm'on, you should know this already) Subscribe! |
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Monday, September 08, 2008 | |
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Our trespasses Location: 16:20 yest, eating burger #2 in Brooklyn Mood: beat Music: I know enough to know when someone trusts you  In any relationship, there's always the time when you're faced with two competing, equally valid, points of view.
When we finally spoke, I was livid. But here's the thing: after all was said and done, she pointed out one time that I showed piss-poor behaviour. And she said she forgave me. Y'know, every night, every single one, I ask to be forgiven our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us. These can't be empty words. Cause, I gotta believe you're more than just your thoughtless screw-ups. Cause, I gotta believe that I'm more than my awful things. ---------- Saturday, in the midst of a hurricane, see LisaV and her friends downtown at onea my favorite joints, a hidden bar called East Side Company. No signs, no lines. Just the number 49, baby. Meet her friend, a tall, hella attractive Asian girl and ask for her info - but it's not for me; she's exactly my buddy's type. Sometimes, you take one for the team, yeah? Sunday, meet up with Heartgirl for a last minute thing. Stop by her place and help her bake cookies and discuss Scrabble. We had The Talk but it was nuthin I didn't already know. Put our shades on and we're off to a BBQ in Brooklyn where we hung out with her friends. Nice group but more on that some other time. Get home Sunday night with a belly fulla charred meat, fatty carbs and beer. Nice but in my head I think, Man, summer's really not my season. But fall, man...fall's my season. Cannot wait to see my fall blue sky again. Labels: blue sky, dating, discussion Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:01 AM :: |
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Wednesday, September 03, 2008 | |
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Cursing buildings and mountains Location: my childhood bed Mood: beat tired Music: You've been good to me; have i been good to you?  Her: I think everyone has a person. (later) Would it matter? If I ate a shrimp or tried some fishy sushi? I don't think it would. Me: No - because you are who you are and I don't want you to change because of me. Her: I guess I really know that you aren't my person. Sometimes I forget, though. Me: (pause) I hope you find your person. You deserve to find your person. Her: I hope you find yours too. Me: (thinking) You're a good person. Her: I didn't do anything good. Me: (long pause) You wished me well. That's something good. In addition to that very, very sad conversation, also lost my biggest client today, my computer died and either broke my leg or tore my ACL. Crashed at the 'rents and ConEd was doing repairs so I took a cold shower. The moment I was done, got a knock on my door. Him: Hey just wanted to tell you that the gas is back on. Me: (dripping wet) Of course it is. Not a good day. But there's this old saying that it's better to light a candle than curse the darkness. Ended my night with a nice conversation that I'll keep to myself but made things seem a little less dark. Got no candle for you but if you click the music link above, you can get a free download of the song I'm listening to as I write this. Hope y'had a better day than I had. Labels: dating, dialogue, disappointed, pescatarians Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 1 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:03 AM :: |
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Friday, August 29, 2008 | |
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Lukewarm Location: 9ish yest, 23rd and Broadway Mood: excited Music: love me or hate me, it's still an obsession  Me: I'm not that guy - I don't pine after people. CaseyI: "I don't pine?" Logan, darling, your whole blog is one big long pine. Me: OK, I pine a little....wait, what? No it's not! Is it? Her: Have you read it? Onea my favorite quotes is So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. My pastor just spoke of it. Said the word earnestness in that passage is the Greek word zēlos, from which we get zealous. Funny, right? Earnestness and zeal are related. In other words, honesty and passion are related. I submit that we love sports causea that passion. Champions fight with every fiber in their body for what they want. Step into a ring distracted and you get your block knocked off. And I'm no longer distracted. I know if I'm the button, needle or thread again. It's such a relief. Y'know, Heartgirl once said we'd never get along cause I'm dispassionate about certain people and things. But, I'm only dispassionate when faced with the lukewarm. If you look at the quote, lukewarm is nauseating - even to God. I'm tired of feeling lukewarm about everything. I wanna be hot or cold again. And y'meet so much lukewarm in the big city. The random boring conversations in the random blue nights. Whaddya do? Whodoyaknow? Blah, blah, blah. Man, just keep your lukewarm to yourself. Gimme some hated or love. Some passion, some zeal. Something. Hate me? Then wind up and swing. Want me? Then throw me down. Don't talk me to death. Fall's around the corner and I feel my teeth again. I'm excited. Maybe there is a SING or a girl on the east side missing a heart. Might happen. Give it to me. Gimme some honesty and heat. Knuckle up and swing like y'mean it. C'mon...hit me already. Labels: dating, dialogue, discussion, single life Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 0 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:03 AM :: |
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Friday, August 22, 2008 | |
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It's Gestalt Location: 20:00 yest, Sido in the UWS Mood: ticked-off Music: hear the clock tick and think of you Had this brilliant plan about a year ago, which was to only date people in my area. For those of you new to dating: terrible idea. Cause you keep running into them. After one of several such run-ins, one girl said after a long silence, Yeah...it's not awkward hanging out with you. Course, some run-ins are very nice. Remember the curly-haired girl? She dropped me a very personal email of condolence regarding my grandmother. Had to stop reading it halfway cause it was so honest. She was always very sweet. Also, a beautiful girl I've not seen in a decade sent me the following: Don't know why, but I'm not worried about you at all. I know very little about you but I know you'll make it again. It's the random bits of kindness that help us through. Speaking of which, yesterday, PCD and I took a walk around town after work. The weather was just perfect. Today, spent the day in a lawyer's office for some litigation I'm a part of. Always impressive to see people that are good at their craft at work. As I write this a friend just dumped his bad day on me. Man! That's like the opposite of a random bit of kindness - it's a random bit of here's my crap, you deal with it. Don't want someone else's bad day - got enough of my own, dontcha think? Luckily, got my good moments too: Me: OUCH! Her: I'm kidding...Me: Good. Her: Yeah, you're a lot older than her. (later) Hey, make a face like the monkey in the video.Me: Why would I do that? Her: Because you're cute and monkeys are cute - it's gestalt!Thought it was a tautology but I think I'm wrong. Eh, it happens. Either way, smart girls're hot. Speaking of which...Heartgirl's back tomorrow.  Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:03 AM :: |
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Wednesday, August 20, 2008 | |
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Making Time, Killing Time or Spending Time? Location: 22:00 yest, UWS, getting kicked in the legs Mood: mixed up Music: I look around my life tonight and you are gone  Her: I don't wanna be on that list, Logan. That list of girls you run into and it's awkward and strange and then you turn and say, We had a thing and it didn't work out. (pause) And you've quite a list... Been busy and mixed up. Insomnia. Part of it's cause I realized two years ago today, No 6 moved out. And it's like I feel so sorry for the "me of back then" cause he was so hoping to follow through with his beautiful plans. But he's not me. Dunno if that makes sense. I've broken up with more people in the last two weeks than most people date all year. And it's heart-wrenching. I'd much rather be the dumpee than the dumper. Much. Lemme clarify a recent post:
Me: You ok? Her: (sarcastically) Please, Logan. I don't know you enough to care enough. But (pause) it's just, if you weren't going to give me a real shot, why'd you even bother? And don't be so charming. (turning away) It's not right for you to be so ____ charming and not give me a chance. The other part's cause two people that've told me that they were killing time now want to spend time. One can't screw up something that's bound to end, ergo, I can be coldly dispassionate in these matters. But now there's a chance that someone's hoping to spend time with me that I'm hoping to spend time with - so now it matters. Now I can screw it up. Now, I can't be dispassionate. Ergo, insomnia. Labels: dating, dialogue, single life Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 1 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:17 AM :: |
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Friday, July 25, 2008 | |
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Blessed are the forgetful Location: 10:00-14:00 yest, all over Manhattan Mood: calm Music: Why so scared of romance?  Her: I forget a lot of things. Me: I envy you. Nietzsche once said, Blessed are the forgetful, for they get the better even of their blunders. I never forget anything. Her: I'd never want to remember everything. That'd be terrible.Me: (nodding) It's why I'm an insomniac. Caligirl's getting married. For my longtime readers, she was also the girl in this entry. She's everything I'm looking for in a girlie. Yet I don't love her. Least, not in the way she wants. Dunno why that is, but that's as it is. As a kid, I remember reading about Soma in A Brave New World and wondering why anyone would wanna forget stuff. Not a kid anymore. There's no Soma in NYC. There's no River Lethe. That part I knew. But I'm also finding that there's no SING. No girl on the east side missing a heart. There are, however, any number of fine (and not so fine) drinking establishments in the big city where they'll serve me my favorite poison on the rocks with a big slice of orange for $14 a glass. I know cause I went to two of them Wednesday and Thursday nights with any number of girlies, some very random, some very specific. The weekend forecast looks similar. They'll have to do. Suspect I'm not invited to the wedding. I'm an insomniac cause I lie awake remembering. I'm so talented at it that I even remember things that never happened, people that never existed. Labels: dating, dialogue, discussion, single life Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 3 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 9:01 AM :: |
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Wednesday, July 23, 2008 | |
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A Tale of Two Conversations Location: 22:00 yest, parrying a dagger in the UWS Mood: pensive Music: A little less conversation, a little more action please  Me: Y'ever read Tale of Two Cities? Charles and Sydney look alike and both love Lucie. But Lucie loves Sydney. Sydney's arrested and about to be killed when Charles appears and takes Sydney's place. So Charles asks, why would you do that for me? And Sydney goes, I'm not doing it for you; I'm doing it for her. Him: If I break up with her, it'll kill her. Me: If you marry her cause you feel obligated to - that'd kill her. (pause) If you really do care about her, cut her loose. Then again, what do I know? Sometimes, you do the right thing and you hate yourself. Sometimes, you do the wrong thing and you hate yourself. After a while, you just get used to hating yourself. Hence, rum. ---------- Her: But I realize that there is something we have in common. Me: And that is? Her: (softly) Don't you see it? I'm seeing someone else. PCD's seeing other people, BEG's seeing someone, the accountant never wants to get married and Heartgirl's unavailable. You like the ladies you can't have. Cause it saves you from the messy things. From having to look someone in the eye and telling them that you're not the guy. (contemptuously) You're such a sad and pathetic person, Logan.Her: I try, Logan. (pause) I saw that pretty blond at your birthday party and I knew you'd ____ it up. Just like you always do. You're terrible at your two rules. What are you looking for? Me: Something I can't put inna words. What you're saying, has the ring of truth, but isn't true at all. Her: I wonder if you really believe all the crap you say. (pause) I hope you get your heart broken. Into a million little _____ pieces. Put this conversation in your sad little blog.Me: I'll take that under advisement. Funny thing is, sometimes y'forget why, exactly, you hate yourself but you get so used it to doing it that you keep doing it. There's only ever conversation, music and noise. It's hard - the trying to figure out which is which. Labels: dating, dialogue, discussion Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 0 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 12:19 AM :: |
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Thursday, July 10, 2008 | |
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Oh...cm'on! Location: My office, wishing I were outside Mood: wistful Music: Our hands are covered in cake But I swear we didn't have any  Realized as I went through records that I may be the oldest person in my entire condo building. Still, although it's served with a big slice of lemon, at least my blue sky's back. ---------- Heartgirl dropped me a line recently. Isn't weird how the more you don't want to think about someone, the more you do? HEI's going through some rough times but I told her that rough times are when you find out what you're made of. Rough times cut away the fat of your life to see the muscle underneath. On a related note, while we're both attracted to each other, we're solidly in friends camp for our own reasons. Hopefully we stay in each other's Venn Diagram. BEG is off on vacation so I don't think I'll be seeing her any time soon. Finally, PCD and I saw each other recently. In addition to being a cake decorator, she also has an anthropology degree so we've some interesting conversations. Her: Today I made an onion - tomorrow I'm making asparagus. Me: (laughing) You're so non sequitur. Her: I'm totally sequitur! Me: It's ok, I like non-sequitur. Her: So one physical marker of an Asian is the shovel shaped incisors - the insides of your incisors are scooped.Me: (feeling the inside of my teeth with my tongue) Well, look at that. (pause) Cm're, lemme check out yours - for purely scientific purposes, I assure you...  Labels: blue sky, dating, troubles, venn diagrams Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 5 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 2:29 PM :: |
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Monday, June 30, 2008 | |
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Front-runners & Back-burners Location: my pad Mood: complacent Music: I'm just gonna drive  Friday night, meet up with Hazel, Paul, and WM in the UWS. Elle's there with her two friends, one of whom wants to step up to this striking blue-eyed blond bombshell. He leaves without so much as a hello to her so I turn to her: Hi there - lemme tell you story, morning glory... She's super nice but she's the same name as my mother plus Elle's there; not that I think she cares but still. I tell her we'll run into each other again and politely eject. Besides, I tell WM, as we exit and turn onto 79th Street, there's always something 'round the corner. Sometimes, quite literally. Cause I immediately lock eyes with a grey-eyed girlie outside a bar who grins at me and says, Hi there! WM rolls his eyes as I wink at her and say, Howdy. Me: The best thing about NYC's the random meetings, yeah? Her: (smiles) Yeah. What's your name? Me: Dinner and a movie? Pretty Cake Decorator: I'm not sure. I mean - I don't really know you. Me: (deep breath) This may not be the smartest idea I've ever had, but...my last name's Lo. Google me.She swings by and we end up watching two films and ordering in. We somehow find ourselves doing Stupid Human Tricks: I do a split and she touches the back of her head with her toes. We both end up laughing on the floor. PCD: I'm glad I came over. (pause) But I can see this has potential for a lot of disappointment. Me: (quietly) Well that's...sad. There's that word again: disappointment. Isn't that the worst, worst part of dating? Heartgirl just told me why she couldn't make it. It was a very good reason, actually. But there's always a very good reason to bail, yeah? To quote HEI, everyone has their front-runners and back-burners. To add to that, sometimes you're the front-runner, sometimes you're the back-burner. Just how it shakes out. While I think Heartgirl and I'll always be friends, there's never a really a good point to stick around, romantically, if you're someone's back-burner. Mrs. Lo didn't raise any stupid sons. Hopeless romantic ueber-nerds, yes. Stupid, no. Cause I believe someone'll see what you're worth; you'll be someone's front-runner someday and she'll be yours. Until then we all do just fine on our own.  Labels: dating, New York City, random meetings, single life Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 2 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 7:17 AM :: |
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Friday, June 27, 2008 | |
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Profitable but clumsy Location: bed Mood: satisfied Music: Honestly what will become of me  We've got to speed things up in this hotel. Chef, if a guest orders a three-minute egg, give it to him in two minutes. If he orders a two-minute egg, give it to him in one minute. If he orders a one-minute egg, give him a chicken and let him work it out for himself. Groucho - A Night in Casablanca I'm profitable for June. Only by a couplea hundred bucks. Still...tiny win is better than no win t'all. Hope Derek's ok. If I had win to spare, I'd send him some. ---------- Me: Sit on this side. Her: (shaking head) No, that's what they do in Portugal and I don't like that. Me: (rolling eyes) It'll just mean that I've gotta lean across the table to kiss you. And I'm terribly clumsy. I mean, I'll still do it and you'll like it. I'm just saying, we're taking a risk. Have dinner at the Maritime Hotel on Wednesday with Heartgirl and drinks round the meatpacking district. We're supposed to go to Kanvas but it shut down. Of course.Her: (laughs) You're a weirdo. Also seeing her Saturday, which is a big deal cause: (a) Fridays and Saturdays are for your friends and significant others and (b) she's still not over her ex. And yet...Saturday night. I'm stupid like that. It's hard coordinating schedules - I'm always busy when they're free or vice versa. Haven't seen CakeDecorator, Blue-Eyed Girl or anyone else in a week. Scored a Classic Room at the Borgata tomorrow but no girlie I'm seeing has made it to that, Hey, let's spend a night at a five star hotel together, level so I just gave the room away. Even though no throwing down would be involved, I highly doubt that any of the women I'm seeing'd believe me if I told them that. Not sure I believe me, come to think of it. I'm still a dude after all. Although, it's been so long that I'm fairly certain I've forgotten how. Slot A, Tab B - that's how it goes, right? Somethin like that. Labels: clumsy, dating, single life Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 4 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 9:43 AM :: |
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Monday, June 23, 2008 | |
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Awful Things Location: my bed Mood: tired Music: I think it's gonna be a long, long time  Her: You know what? I'm not your ex. I'm me. (long pause) You've never done awful things in your life, Logan? Get a surprising message on Friday from someone I was dating. We opted to be friends and she calls to tell me something I really don't wanna know. So, I'm disappointed in her. Then again, she called cause she needed a friend and I wasn't the friend I shoulda been. So, I'm disappointed in me. Go out for the usual fun and games for Friday. Some girl keeps grabbing my butt so I bounce early. Saturday, wrestled. That's a whole entry on it's own. Then I go to my cousin's wedding. Could do without everyone asking me when I'm getting married. Orbit around Heartgirl all weekend; more misunderstandings between us. We're supposed to meet up but something comes up so she bails. Thing is, I'm slightly glad we didn't meet up cause who she is in my head might not be who she is at all. Then again, I'm not the man they think I am at home. Her: Hey...what are you doing up? Her: Thanks. (pause) I'm really glad you called. I'm really glad. That's WM the night before. Heartgirl wanted to watch the Eurocup so I arranged it for a friend of mine to show it at her bar. Since Heartgirl didn't come, WM came and we caught the game. And talked about our many regrets. Paul, WM and I're great at parties. Cause the people that're really great at parties are the ones that just wanna forget the awful things.  Labels: dating, dialogue, long walk home, single life, usual twirl Subscribe!Permanent Link :: 1 comments ::
Links to this post :: Posted by Me @ 7:48 AM :: | |
